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January

Wow! January has flown by! I had made my list of goals that I was going to tackle for 2016 but it didn’t start out as planned as January 1st I was hit hard with this cold virus so many people have that lasted 3 weeks.

I did manage to check some things off of my list but I keep adding to it! My goal for this year is to purge! I have started and it doesn’t look I have gotten rid of anything! After 33 years of marriage and in our home for over 20 years you tend to accumulate so much its ridiculous! The past five years I haven’t been able to do much of it as I am always recovering from treatment or surgery so I am hoping this will be a different year for me.

I battled a lot of anxiety and fear during the month of December about what lies ahead for me and my health.  I made a decision at the beginning of January that I was going to put off my tests until the summer. I have a peace about it. For the last three years every spring I have found out that I have another cancer and another surgery and treatment.  This year I have no idea what lies ahead but I wanted to change my spring if I can, I want to enjoy a spring, see all of the trees and flowers bud and bloom and all new life that will soon be here.  I just want to simplify my life and enjoy the little things. I just emotionally could not go through any more news that is bad.  Having said this who knows what lies ahead these coming months for me but this was something I could put off until June and my doctors were very supportive of it.

I have been helping Victoria get all of her new products ready to ship and we will be looking for more stockists (this is a new name for retailers) to carry her line. I find myself in that place like I have been often these past five years, a place of waiting…..there are many things I want to do and try but I am not sure what direction to take. It is a weird place to be, a place of uncertainty and being totally out of control of where life will take me. I continue to look to the Lord for his guidance and direction and continue to live moment by moment day by day. The verse that continues to come to mind is Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

I have many days of quiet and stillness to wait and see what God has in store for me in all areas of my life like business, pleasure, relationships, health you name it! It is a privelage for me to live each and every day and I am so thankful to be alive so I look forward to the next chapter in my life.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of the many I know that continue to battling the horrible disease of cancer and for those that have lost their battle to cancer. It isn’t fair and we don’t understand why so many people suffer from it so on days when I feel sorry for myself or look at all my scars and continue to deal with my ostomy bag I count my blessings and know that God is with me and isn’t finished with me yet so while I am still here on this earth I am trying to cherish everything and focus on all the good in this life :)

The quote I have below is one I have posted before but it is one of my quotes that I hang onto and I had Victoria print it up for me to see and read daily in my family room... this is my hope and prayer for 2016!

Thanks again for your love, support, and prayers.